Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
