So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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