brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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