does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I need a beard to bite.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
