after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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