She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
