I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I need to sanitize my soul.
My ass is underappreciated
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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