Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
