I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
