I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
