If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
