You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
