i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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