there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
