I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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