i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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