I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
