If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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