Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
