yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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