Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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