We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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