My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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