I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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