About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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