Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
