how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
