Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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