It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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