now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
