We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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