remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
