your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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