absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
