I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
