That's intense
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
