How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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