So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
