You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
