I heard we made out
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
