the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
