when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
