i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
