It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
