Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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