His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
