You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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