Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
