I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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