The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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