please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
