it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
