she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
