that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
