y did u give ur computer a hand job?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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