We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
